


Zu Ende

by feentanz



Series: One Shots [47]
Category: Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Chess, F/M, nikolai and zoya playing chess the night before his wedding, ur welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28649721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feentanz/pseuds/feentanz
Summary: And so she rolled her eyes, following the king into the parlor. “You really like losing, don’t you?” Zoya commented, sitting down at the table where Nikolai had already set down the chessboard. She refrained from commenting on that. He was smirking, sitting down across from her. “Only to you, Nazyalensky,” he replied, and Zoya felt a weird sense of hurt at those words. “Then I hope your wife doesn’t know how to play,” she said, already moving her first piece.
Relationships: Nikolai Lantsov/Zoya Nazyalensky
Series: One Shots [47]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/594364
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47





	Zu Ende

**Author's Note:**

> For Rini, who inspired me to write this & who I love very much ♡
> 
> ( Based on the song Zu Ende by ELIF. )

Zoya knocked on Nikolai’s door, impatience already nagging at her. The wedding was set for tomorrow, a million guests had already arrived in the capital, and yet the king had nothing better to do than summon her to his chambers. 

And now he wasn’t even answering the door. 

Zoya knocked again, this time louder, just when the door swung open. 

“Nazyalensky,” Nikolai greeted, a smile playing around his lips. He looked at her the same way he always had, and Zoya hated that a little. Because tomorrow he would be married and everything would be different. 

“What do you want?” she asked, keeping her tone brisk while she walked into his chambers. She hoped that none of Ehri’s family members had heard the stories of how frequently she visited these rooms yet. They couldn’t afford a bad start like that. 

“In a good mood, are we?” Nikolai commented, closing the door behind her. 

Zoya let out a long breath, meeting the king’s eyes. She was  _ really  _ not in the mood for this. “Genya and I had to plan your wedding all day while you are doing nothing to help, Your Highness,” she snapped, crossing her arms. 

Nikolai had the audacity to look amused. “You have been trying to get rid of me for so long, Zoya, I thought you would be delighted to finally see the result.” 

She knew that the words were meant to be joking, but they hurt all the same. She  _ had  _ tried hard to find a wife for Nikolai. But she had also always secretly been glad when he had worked against all her attempts. Until now. 

Because now he had chosen Ehri. 

“Why did you call me here?” Zoya asked again, studying the sleeve of her  _ kefta  _ a little too closely. It was suddenly hard to look at him. 

“I found myself suddenly unoccupied,” Nikolai replied, crossing the room towards the parlor nearby. “So I thought you might want to enjoy beating me at chess.”

Zoya raised a brow. The night before his wedding, and he wanted to play chess? “I would much rather enjoy a hot bath right now,” she replied, keeping her tone perfectly neutral. There was no need for Nikolai to know how much she did enjoy beating him. Although she suspected that he had let her win one too many times. 

“Come on, Nazyalensky,” Nikolai tried again. “Just one game.” 

Zoya hesitated, but she was well aware that Nikolai already knew she would agree. Because she always agreed. And because she wouldn’t miss this last opportunity to spend some alone time with him, before everything would change tomorrow. 

And so she rolled her eyes, following the king into the parlor. “You really like losing, don’t you?” Zoya commented, sitting down at the table where Nikolai had already set down the chessboard. She refrained from commenting on that. 

He was smirking, sitting down across from her. “Only to you, Nazyalensky,” he replied, and Zoya felt a weird sense of hurt at those words. 

“Then I hope your wife doesn’t know how to play,” she said, already moving her first piece. Nikolai usually played white, but today the board was flipped. 

He had looked up at her words, but she refused to meet his eyes. Instead, she kept her gaze pinned to the board, watching Nikolai move his pawn. 

Zoya moved her knight next, but she was too distracted to really care. Her mind was already on the next day, at the wedding. She glanced at Nikolai from time to time, careful to go unnoticed. 

They played in silence for a bit, and Zoya couldn’t help wonder if Ehri really was bad at chess. Or if Nikolai would also let her win if she wasn’t. 

“You’re unusually quiet today, Nazyalensky,” Nikolai noticed, right when he took her knight. 

Zoya let out an annoyed breath, mad at herself for not noticing the opening. “I’ve had a busy day, unlike you, Your Highness,” she commented, moving her bishop. 

Nikolai sighed dramatically, studying the board for a moment. “I thought Genya was planning the wedding,” he replied, moving his knight. 

Zoya narrowed her eyes, changing strategy and retreating quickly. “Genya can’t deal with everything,” she said, watching Nikolai move his next piece. “The Shu delegation was eager to discuss our new military strategy.” 

He frowned at her, momentarily distracted from the game. “Already?” 

Zoya gave a half shrug. “They want to make sure this wedding pays off for them.” 

Nikolai huffed, moving his bishop and taking Zoya’s second knight. 

She took his bishop in return, not missing the little smirk on his face when she did. He  _ was  _ letting her win, even now. “Have you talked to Ehri yet?” she asked, trying to make her tone sound conversationally. 

“She’s not exactly eager to talk to me.” 

Zoya had figured as much. “So her sister will drag her in front of the altar?” she said dryly, taking another one of Nikolai’s pieces. He wasn’t even trying today. 

He didn’t look up from the board. “I was assured she agreed to our terms.” 

Zoya wondered if she had been left a choice. But she held her tongue, this time. It was too late to change course now. She just had to trust in Nikolai’s decision. 

“You don’t agree,” Nikolai said now, still not looking at her. 

Zoya clenched her jaw, moving her queen to block Nikolai’s attempt to attack her king. “You didn’t ask for my opinion before announcing the engagement, did you? So it hardly matters now.” She hadn’t meant to sound upset, but she also didn’t quite manage to hide it.

This time, Nikolai lifted his gaze. “It was a spontaneous decision.” He moved his bishop, and Zoya frowned at the move. 

“Sure,” was all she said when her queen took the bishop. “Do you always spontaneously decide to get married and risk your country’s future?” This time, she definitely sounded on edge. 

Nikolai huffed, frowning at the board. He had lost almost half his pieces, already. He was definitely distracted today. “I would have preferred not to get married at all,” he noted, taking one of Zoya’s paws with his remaining bishop. “But desperate times call for desperate measures.” 

Zoya preferred not to comment, moving her queen across the board. “Playing with you is no fun if you don’t concentrate, Your Highness.” 

“I’m simply no match to your skill, Nazyalensky,” Nikolai said with a smile, right when he moved his rook to block her queen’s path. 

Zoya rolled her eyes at the comment. She knew it was empty praise, since she and Nikolai had spent endless nights playing chess, most of their games stretching over several hours. Today, she would checkmate him in less than 30 minutes. 

“I hope you save some compliments for your future wife tomorrow,” she replied, knocking his rook over with her queen. “It will be needed.” She took the piece, setting it aside. Then she looked up, catching a glimpse of Nikolai’s face. She wasn’t quite sure what to make of what she saw there. 

“If there is one thing I excel at, it’s diplomacy,” he said, but his expression remained unreadable. 

“Marriage is not about diplomacy,” Zoya replied, furrowing her brows when Nikolai moved his king. Right into her queen’s path. “Stop letting me win,” she complained. 

He looked up, meeting her gaze. There was something different there suddenly. “I’m tired of playing.” It didn’t sound like he was still talking about chess. 

Zoya swallowed, taken off guard by the emotion in his eyes. The sadness. The  _ regret.  _ “You were the one who wanted to play in the first place,” she said harshly, moving her rook. “Checkmate,” she added. 

Nikolai pushed his chair back, getting up without another look at the board. 

Zoya frowned at his sudden change of attitude, watching him stride across the parlor towards his desk. She raised a brow when he picked out a bottle of whiskey, filling two glasses. “What’s this about now?” she wanted to know, getting to her feet. 

“Drowning my sorrows,” Nikolai replied, but his usual playful tone was missing. He handed her the glass, avoiding her eyes. 

“I didn’t come here to drink with you, Your Highness,” Zoya replied, but she took a sip of whiskey anyway. But she also knew that all of this intimacy would only make it harder tomorrow. Because then, Nikolai would share these things with another woman. 

“One last time, Nazyalensky,” he suddenly said, like he had read her mind. “I suppose after tomorrow I’ll have my wife to entertain.” 

Zoya swallowed, trying to ignore the way those words felt like a stab right into her heart. She downed the rest of the whiskey without thinking. It was needed. “You will have to make sure this alliance works out,” she said eventually. “Ravka can’t afford anything else.” 

“I know,” Nikolai replied, staring into his glass. “I just don’t know how.” 

Zoya stilled, looking up in surprise. She had never, in three years of working together, heard Nikolai say anything of the sorts. He always had a plan. He always knew how. For a moment, the admission left her speechless. 

But at the end of the day, Ravka couldn’t afford doubt either. “Of course you know how,” Zoya replied sternly, stepping closer. “You always know.” 

Nikolai lifted his gaze, and Zoya suddenly noticed how close she was standing. She fought the urge to step back, to retreat, but forced herself to remain perfectly still. 

“Marriage isn’t about diplomacy,” Nikolai repeated the words she had said earlier. 

Zoya honestly didn’t know what marriage was. She also wasn’t sure what Nikolai wanted to hear from her right now. “It’s going to work out,” she said, regardless of how wrong it sounded. Regardless of how wrong it felt. “You will find a way.” She refused to say  _ we.  _ There would be no more of that after tomorrow. 

Nikolai held her gaze, eyes never wavering. There was something about the way he looked at her that made Zoya still, rooted in place. She felt a shiver running across her skin when his eyes slipped down to her lips momentarily, then returned to her eyes. He was suddenly even closer. Zoya could feel his breathing grazing her lips. It was intoxicating. 

And still, she remembered Ehri. The woman Nikolai would marry in a few hours. The princess who would become his queen. 

Zoya stepped back, suddenly alert. She was barely able to breathe.  _ This was all so wrong _ . 

Nikolai watched her with obvious confusion, his eyes following her movements. Neither of them spoke, but the spell was broken. Reality had returned. 

“I should go,” Zoya got out, her voice shaking ever so slightly. “I really should just go.” She turned, but Nikolai caught her wrist. 

He was suddenly right in front of her again, fingers grazing her skin, making her mind spin. “Stay.” The word was barely audible, and yet she could see his lips moving. 

Zoya stared up at him, and her heart broke at how much she genuinely wanted to agree. A few months ago, she might have. On any other night, she would have allowed herself this fantasy. But not tonight. 

Not when she knew that there could never be another night.

And so she shook her head, attempting to pull away. 

Nikolai held onto her. “Zoya.” His voice almost broke with the word. “Don’t leave.” 

Zoya felt tears rising into her eyes, blinking them away. Tears never fixed anything. “Let go of me,” she whispered, and this time her voice was steady. 

Nikolai dropped her wrist at once, stepping back. Although she didn’t miss the genuine hurt in his expression. Or the disappointment on his face. 

Zoya left without another word, without even turning around. She didn’t wish to look back. Not this time. 


End file.
